• Home
  • About
    • the Site
    • the Cult
    • Darian
    • I Am…
  • Galleries
  • Contact
  • Legal
    • Warning/Disclaimer
    • Terms of Use
    • Privacy Policy
  • Join
    • Member Benefits
    • Registration
  • Login
Menu
  • Home
  • About
    • the Site
    • the Cult
    • Darian
    • I Am…
  • Galleries
  • Contact
  • Legal
    • Warning/Disclaimer
    • Terms of Use
    • Privacy Policy
  • Join
    • Member Benefits
    • Registration
  • Login
27 March 2026

All the vampires, walkin’ through the valley…

Written by Darian
Leave a Comment

“You know how priests make holy water? We take regular water and boil the hell out of it!”

That’s the joke a priest told me at a graveside service when I asked him to bless a bottle of water. I was reading about a water additive product that supposedly changes the structure of the water itself – a bit like what the priest told me after the joke – when that memory popped in my head.

He blessed the water then went on to tell me that I could take that bottle of water he just blessed and use it as “seed water” to sanctify other, non-blessed, water as needed. Now, I’m not Catholic, so I don’t know if that is truly part of their canon or if he was just lazy and didn’t want to be constantly bothered by funeral directors needing water blessed for services, but I immediately had a thought: If mixing holy water with regular water sanctifies it all, and then that batch of holy water can be used to create more holy water, and so on, and so on… well… humans are ~60% water so…

I did exactly what one would do when holding a bottle of holy Aquafina… I took a hearty swig, and by the rules told to me by the priest, I’m now a walking holy water factory. Vampires beware, the Pacific Ocean has been sanctified, and since they all touch, that must mean all the oceans are as now as well. Is there a set distance that God’s blessing can travel?

Anyhow, FedEx just arrived to deliver my father’s banjo so I’m going to go play around with music…

Song of the day: Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty

 Previous Article If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1…
Next Article   It’s gonna rain on the world today…

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Recent Comments

  1. Riley on Maybe I don’t really wanna know how your garden grows…
  2. Old friends growing older… - Cult of Darian on Those were the best of times…
  3. You’ve got the future on your side… - Cult of Darian on Home, it’s what I long for…
  4. Overthinking, over-analyzing… - Cult of Darian on Blood is thicker than water…
  5. Riley on So try another day…
March 2026
S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  
« Feb   Apr »

Archives

  • July 2026 (18)
  • June 2026 (20)
  • May 2026 (19)
  • April 2026 (21)
  • March 2026 (21)
  • February 2026 (19)
  • January 2026 (17)
  • December 2025 (13)
  • November 2025 (19)
  • October 2025 (23)
  • September 2025 (17)
  • August 2025 (12)
  • July 2025 (21)
  • June 2025 (21)
  • May 2025 (18)
  • April 2025 (1)
  • July 2004 (3)
  • June 2004 (3)
  • May 2004 (13)
  • April 2004 (3)
  • March 2004 (5)
  • February 2004 (3)
  • January 2004 (3)

Categories

  • Archives (33)
  • Rants (280)
Copyright © 2001-2025 Darian Drake