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10 July 2025

I’ll just wait inside my head…

Written by Darian
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Another kinda “meh” morning for me – I don’t think I’m sleeping very well. I also realized yesterday that I was getting too deep in the weeds with coming up with topics to write about, but yesterday’s “train of thought” rambling seemed to work itself out. Probably will do more of that instead of trying to think of topics in advance. Nobody is reading this anyway, so I should do what works best for me.

That said, while thinking of topics to write I thought about all my cats. Something that I’ve said to my wife is, “you know it’s true love when you wish you could have introduced them to all your cats.” I still think that’s true, and wish she could meet all the cats I’ve ever had. Thinking about that, I thought I’d write a bit about each of the cats I’ve had throughout my life – but those would likely be individual pages rather than one of the daily posts. I guess I probably should include the dogs as well, but there aren’t nearly as many.

Something I’ve noticed when going through the pain cycles – I can get trapped in my head. If I lay there and try to relax as best as possible, close my eyes, and regulate my breathing, I can “step outside” my body and be relatively pain free. Some people call that “astral projection” but I tend to look at it more as just a meditative technique. The problem with that technique is that for all intents and purposes, I’m asleep, but for at least a period of time (before I actually do fall asleep) I’m fully conscious and aware of what is going on around me, though cannot interact.

But I’ll do this when things get really bad as a way to escape the pain if just for a few brief moments. On the bad days, it is more difficult to reach that state, but I can usually get there for a brief reprieve at least, but then a muscle will spasm, triggering the intense pain signal and I’ll be back – but when it is the “normal” level of pain, I can stay there for quite some time.

Some might see this as a good alternative to pills for pain management, but again, I’m essentially “asleep” and can’t get do the tasks in the physical world that need addressing. It is also very addictive. I know that opiates and drugs of that nature are addictive, but is it just because they get you “high” or because for the period you’re on those drugs, you’re pain free? If someone is living in constant pain, removing that element, even briefly, is an amazing feeling. The drugs do that in ways, but the side effects are usually not worth it.

I have been given a pharmacy of different drugs to help with pain management, but they all had side effects I didn’t want. One made me a zombie, one literally retarded my brain (I couldn’t remember names of close friends), one got me high and turned me into a bump on a log, one actually seemed to intensify the pain, and one was like a milder version of the one that retarded me (didn’t make me as forgetful but also didn’t reduce the pain signals as well). When we were still in Idaho, a doctor even recommended I pop across the border to Washington and get CBD gelcaps with THC. Those didn’t work unless I took enough that the THC got me high, so I stopped that as well. One thing I do take is a CBG supplement daily that while it doesn’t eliminate the pain, it seems to lower the “frequency” of the pain signal to one that I am better able to deal with.

I know there is probably a better, more accurate word to use, but when I say “frequency” in this context, I’m referring to the wavelength of the pain signal. The pain I am dealing with stems from a damaged nerve in my spine, and currently my right thigh is in a constant state of being “asleep” like if you sat on your leg too long. I have the constant “pins and needles” tingling feeling with occasional spikes that shoot down my sciatic nerve. (That leg also forgets it exists at time and will collapse under me, hence the need to use a cane to get around.) When I talk about the frequency of the pain, it is about changing that tingling from the sharper “pins and needles” (the high frequency) to a more manageable duller feeling (the low frequency).

Combining the CBG with my meditative technique gets me through a lot, but isn’t a perfect solution. When I let myself go into that state, I usually make sure to set an alarm because I’d stay there forever, pain-free, if I could.

I guess a drawback of the “train of thought” posting is that there will be much more rambling about who knows what. But there you have it, a bit about the pain I’m dealing with and how my brain seems to work.

Interesting Tidbits

In honor of finishing our LotR marathon – Tolkien Tuesday: The Best Lord of the Rings Memes This Week

Could SBR’s Soon Be Cheaper than Rifles? A Possible Side Effect of the BBB – “While there are numerous factors considered when setting the price of a product, among those factors are taxes. In this case, the relevant tax is the Firearms and Ammunition Excise Tax (FAET). Pursuant to the Section 4181 of the Internal Revenue Code, a manufacturer, producer, or importer is required to pay a 10% tax on the sale of all pistols or revolvers, and an 11% tax on all other firearms and ammo. However, this tax does not apply to any short barreled firearms if the NFA transfer tax specified in Section 5811 has been paid.” I’m still not on board with this bill, and still believe this is going to end up a net loss for gun rights, but this is nice.

Dams around the world hold so much water they’ve shifted Earth’s poles, new research shows – “Dam construction since 1835 has caused Earth’s poles to “wander” away from the planet’s rotational axis because of the massive weight of water reservoirs.”

What if you threw a paper airplane from the space station – “A new paper from Maximilien Berthet and Kojiro Suzuki from the University of Tokyo looks at ‘the dynamics of an origami space plane during Earth atmospheric reentry’ – in other words, what happens when you throw a paper plane out of the ISS.”

How the Teamsters Cost 30,000 People Their Jobs – “UPS, Yellow Corporation, and Boeing all gave into union demands. Massive layoffs followed.” More about how unions are terrible.

TikTok Prankster Gets Hefty Prison Sentence After Spraying Walmart Produce With Insecticide – MORE OF THIS PLEASE! “Influencer and TikTok prankster Wolfie Kahletti was sentenced to a year in prison after Walmart had to destroy $1,000 worth of produce due to his insecticide ‘prank.'”

Biden Family Feud Erupts Over President’s $10M Fortune – “During the final minutes of his presidency, Biden pardoned several members of his family including his siblings and their spouses – but not his own spouse, Jill Biden. According to sources, Jill not being included in the pardons was Hunter’s plan so he can move forward with becoming leader of the family and gaining control of his own father – as well as the $10 million fortune.”

Six Flags Announces Closure of Another Iconic Park After 50 Years of Operation – “Almost five decades after its opening date, a beloved California theme park is officially set to shutter its doors.” NOOOOOOOOO! I loved Great America!

This Is Not Keanu: Inside the Billion-Dollar Celebrity Impersonation Bitcoin Scam – “Victims think they’re talking to Keanu Reeves. Or Kevin Costner. Then come the pleas for cash. The brazen AI-fueled con that fleeces lovestruck fans and has Hollywood finally fighting back.”

McDonald’s AI Hiring Bot With Password ‘123456’ Leaks Millions of Job-Seekers Data – “A severe security vulnerability in McDonald’s AI-powered hiring system has exposed the personal information of potentially 64 million job applicants to unauthorized access.”

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