{"id":528,"date":"2004-05-04T00:02:00","date_gmt":"2004-05-04T06:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cultofdarian.com\/blog\/?p=528"},"modified":"2025-05-07T14:15:19","modified_gmt":"2025-05-07T20:15:19","slug":"you-have-turned-my-blood-cold-and-bitter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cultofdarian.com\/blog\/2004\/05\/04\/you-have-turned-my-blood-cold-and-bitter\/","title":{"rendered":"You have turned my blood cold and bitter…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What is it? I have a lot to say but as soon as I sit down to write it down, it secludes itself amongst the jumbling mess that clouds all my thought as of late? Is it a lack of motivation? Is it a lack of will? Is it just the overwhelming burdens of life? It it concealed behind that pounding noise inside my head?<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That noise… that fucking noise. It seems to drown everything else out. It’s so fucking hard to concentrate sometimes. It’s overwhelming. Have you ever had that feeling of being completely overwhelmed? That you can’t fucking think straight to save your life? No I’m not talking about the drunken stupor at the last party, but it is akin to a hangover. That’s what it is… a sober hangover. Everything seems cloudy and you can barely think straight. It’s not just the throbbing that gets to you, it’s that constant fucking noise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That makes it so hard to do anything. To read, to write… just about anything that takes cognative power. Unfortunately the only things that seem to drown out that noise are brain numbing activities. Television, intoxication, prescription drugs… but who wants to live life in the perpetual haze caused by those as well?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m angry. I’m very fucking angry right now. I’m angry about alot of things – finances, hippies, bitches, work, etc. But mostly I’m angry at myself for buying into the bullshit ideas that are being force fed to us by the media. No, I’m not just talking about the socialist liberal media agenda here, but ALL media… especially that which portrays the perfect life with the perfect car and the materialistic existance. The life where all your friends die of old age and people are only killed for good ratings. Or where the man has to give the woman an obmoxiously oversized diamond ring to prove his love to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What the fuck is wrong with us? No wonder much of the eastern world looks upon us with contempt and scorn… they don’t want us to corrupt their children. Hell, _I_ don’t want us to corrupt _OUR_ children. But it’s happening. After being told over and over that this is the life that we are supposed to live… it becomes our own reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it is my own fault. I bought into it. I believed the lies. I listened to the stories and gave my time and energy. I sacrificed time, energy, money, relationships, and more to a cause that I thought worthwhile. Because of this “vision” my own business became second fiddle and now even that is preparing for the long journey east. I was spoonfed the bullshit and I ate it with delight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fuck you very much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a>Comments<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know what your talking about ~
I do it a lot too ~ especially with my music \/ song lyrix.
I’ve been a lil bit better since I have gotten my digi recorder ~ I take it with me everywhere I go n just blurt shit all day long \ud83d\ude00
come home n put it on my comp.
the site loox rad!!!
catch up with you soon…
Posted by: Miss Kendall<\/a> at May 4, 2004 07:04 PM<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Funny thing, I just started carrying one of those around as well. It seems to help a bit, but I haven’t really had the opportunity to use it much yet. Just started keeping it with me las Friday. \ud83d\ude42
Posted by: Darian<\/a> at May 5, 2004 09:58 AM<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just kill your TV, that’ll knock the bullshit level down quite a bit. Most commercial radio sucks too, and don’t even get me started about print.
The new look is good man, glad to see the Michael Savage link, he knows where it’s at. Do you know of any online stations that stream his program?
Posted by: jmarc<\/a> at May 6, 2004 12:46 PM<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s the site from my local area…
http:\/\/cc.liquidviewer.com\/radio\/standard\/radioplayer.php?UID=2
If that doesn’t work, just go to www.kste.com
Savage is on from 3PM – 7PM Pacific
If you find one that streams Glenn Beck let me know!
Posted by: Darian<\/a> at May 7, 2004 10:54 AM<\/p>\n\n\n\n

thanks. Yeah i listen to glen periodically ,when working alone, over the airwaves. I’ll get back to you on that one. More direct url stream = mms:\/\/ccdig.liquidviewer.com\/KSTE
Posted by: jmarc<\/a> at May 7, 2004 01:26 PM<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is a historical post from the Cult of Darian archives<\/a>. Archive links will attempt to open via the Internet Archive Wayback Machine<\/a>.<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What is it? I have a lot to say but as soon as I sit down to write it down, it secludes itself amongst the jumbling mess that clouds all my thought as of late? Is it a lack of motivation? Is it a lack of will? Is it just the overwhelming burdens of life? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"post_folder":[],"class_list":["post-528","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-archives"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cultofdarian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/528","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cultofdarian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cultofdarian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cultofdarian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cultofdarian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=528"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cultofdarian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/528\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":529,"href":"https:\/\/cultofdarian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/528\/revisions\/529"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cultofdarian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=528"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cultofdarian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=528"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cultofdarian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=528"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cultofdarian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=528"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}